Examining Domestic Violence and Gender Bias Research in Relation to Shared Parenting
The defamation trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard in Fairfax County, Virginia captured the attention of millions around the world. The case was already high-profile given the celebrity status of the ex-spouses; however, social media played a large role in elevating its prominence. In addition to live broadcast reports and extensive news articles, people followed along with updates from Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat. While the case brought international attention to domestic violence, it also generated conversations about gender bias.
The case centered around Depp suing his ex-wife, Heard, for defamation over an op-ed she wrote for the Washington Post in 2018. Depp alleges that he was defamed in the article that was titled, “Amber Heard: I spoke up against sexual violence — and faced our culture’s wrath. That has to change.” As the title alludes, Heard stated in the article that she was a victim of domestic abuse. While Heard’s attorneys claimed the article wasn’t about Depp, Depp’s legal team disagreed, suing for defamation. Heard then countersued, stating that Depp defamed her as well when his former attorney said her abuse allegations were a hoax. The trial was quite complex and the jury ended up finding both Depp and Heard liable for defamation. Depp was awarded $15 million in damages, although a Virginia law capping punitive damages limits the total award to $10.35 million. . Heard was awarded $2 million in damages in relation to her countersuit.
The Gender Paradigm in Domestic Violence
Aside from defamation, the trial brought attention to many other serious topics including domestic violence and gender bias. These issues have been extensively researched by many experts in the psychology field, and the case was highlighted in an article recently published in Quillette. The article, written by doctoral psychology student and relationship researcher Limor Gottlieb, is titled “Domestic Violence Is Not the Result of Patriarchy.” The author states that research finds that women in relationships with men tend to perpetrate violence against their intimate partners just as often as men.
“I’ve been following this case with close attention and deep frustration at the double standard with which society addresses the topic of domestic abuse. In this article, I argue against the publicly endorsed gender paradigm in domestic violence and, instead, offer a gender-neutral perspective from psychology that is rooted in empirical evidence,” writes Gottlieb.
The research Gottlieb cites falls in line with that of National Parents Organization Advisory Council member, John Hamel, Ph.D., LCSW. Dr. Hamel is an expert in the topic of domestic violence and has authored more than 35 related research articles and book chapters. Themes he investigates include female perpetrators and male victims; judicial system responses to domestic violence, including false arrests and dominant aggressor laws; and domestic violence homicides and the battered woman defense. He has also conducted research on the impact of domestic violence on children as well as domestic violence and parental alienation in disputed child custody cases. With his wide-ranging experience, he has provided case consultation and expert witness testimony on the subject of domestic violence in a variety of court matters. In addition, he works with family violence perpetrators and victims and is a court-appointed provider of batterer intervention and parent programs in the Greater San Francisco Bay Area.
An Interview with Dr. Hamel About Domestic Violence and Shared Parenting
During a video and podcast conversation with Chris Batcheller of National Parents Organization, Dr. Hamel shares insight into how domestic violence is viewed differently based on gender. He also explains how this stereotype plays a role in custody disputes and parenting arrangements for separated and divorced parents. His early experience in the San Francisco area in the 1990s helped shape his work as a researcher and activist for shared parenting.
“Over the years, having had hundreds of almost exclusively male clients referred to me from the family court for domestic violence offenses, it occurred to me that a lot of these people that were referred to me weren’t dangerous at all to their children, the accusations were exaggerated, and/or they were married to women that were just as violent or more so than they were,” shared Dr. Hamel during the recorded conversation.
He went on to explain that in order to prove that these men were deserving of shared custody of their children, he insisted on meeting with their ex-wives or former partners. During these interviews, many of the women admitted that they too have been aggressive, hit their husbands, and in some cases, also hit their children. Dr. Hamel also said that many of the women he spoke with openly shared that they believe they have their own anger management problems that result in them being violent toward their partners.
“I talked about my findings to a local community domestic violence council,” said Dr. Hamel. “When I presented my findings, all hell broke loose, and I mean all hell broke loose. Most of these county organizations are headed by the local battered women shelter. A lot of law enforcement people attend those things and you know, dignitaries from the mayor’s office and mental health professionals and so forth. There was a strong reaction to what I had to say. And I knew right then that there is a real serious problem with this system.”
These experiences inspired Dr. Hamel to focus research on these topics and begin investigating how some people abuse the court system because of gender bias. He went on to become the Editor-in-Chief of the peer-reviewed journal Partner Abuse. In addition, he’s the author and editor of several books, including the groundbreaking Gender-Inclusive Treatment of Intimate Partner Abuse, 2nd Edition: Evidence-Based Approaches, and the forthcoming Beyond the Gender Paradigm: A Legal Primer on Evidence-Based Criminal Justice Approaches to Intimate Partner Violence. He offers a complementary podcast for professionals about rethinking the gender paradigm in domestic violence treatment which can be accessed by clicking here.
His research and findings support the information in the article published by Gottlieb in Quillette, using the Depp v. Heard trial as an example. The opening paragraph of the article highlights a recording that was played in court with Heard telling Depp, “tell the world, Johnny. I, Johnny Depp, a man, I’m a victim, too, of domestic violence, and see how many people believe or side with you.”
Gottlieb goes on to explain that research over the years has found that male victims of domestic violence and abuse “are often met with suspicion or disbelief and have difficulty finding public help because services or shelters for domestic abuse mostly focus on female victims.”
The Impact of Domestic Abuse Accusations on Shared Parenting Arrangements
NPO, an organization committed to promoting shared parenting, has great concerns about how these types of allegations are handled in family court, especially if child custody is stripped away from fathers when the mother may be just as, if not more, violent. The Depp v. Heard court case has provided insight into the reality that men can also be victims of domestic violence. Gottlieb writes, “as a society, we should have zero tolerance for domestic violence no matter the sex or gender of the perpetrator.” As an organization focused on the well-being of children from separated and divorced homes, we can’t agree more. Domestic violence and abuse are serious issues that need to be addressed; however, we need to reframe the discussions so that gender bias is identified.
“The problem isn’t that women aren’t more in danger of being killed or severely injured – we know that,” explained Dr. Hamel. “The problem is that the statistics are manipulated to try to show that all women are experiencing this.”
NPO has been made aware of many custody cases where domestic violence claims made against fathers, and sometimes mothers, were either false or blown out of proportion. To combat these types of instances, Dr. Hamel created a website, DomesticViolenceResearch.org to provide resources for parents facing these types of accusations. This website includes thousands of pages of research and articles as well as the names of dozens of domestic violence experts, some of whom conduct expert witness work in various states.
Dr. Hamel notes that in many situations, there is also a link between domestic violence claims and parental alienation. If a partner is accused of domestic abuse in a relationship, there is a great chance that they will not only lose custody of their children but will also be alienated from them. When it comes to back-and-forth court arguments where one parent claims parental alienation and the other parent claims violence, Dr. Hamel says he and other researchers have found that it really comes down to the same thing.
“We’re talking about the extent to which parents want to manipulate the system and control their partners in order to get their kids. It’s really that simple,” said Dr. Hamel. “The parental instinct is a very, very strong instinct in human beings, along with the self-preservation instinct, it’s one of the strongest instincts we have.”
NPO’s Mission and Vision for Shared Parenting Despite Gender Bias
NPO believes that having these types of gender bias discussions about domestic violence as well as sharing the research collected and analyzed by experts such as Dr. Hamel and Gottlieb, society will be empowered to see all sides to all situations.
It will also help organizations – like NPO – fulfill our missions as we look to enhance the wellbeing of children and promote the benefits of shared parenting. We envision a society where:
Shared parenting after separation or divorce is the norm;
Children’s natural right to be nurtured & guided by both parents is fully honored;
Society treats fathers & mothers as equally important to the well-being of their children;
Children are happier & more successful because their loving bonds to their parents are protected after parental separation or divorce; and,
The courts arrange finances after separation or divorce so that both mothers & fathers can afford to house and care for their children & themselves.
To learn more about NPO and our mission, we invite you to visit our website where you can help by donating, fundraising, volunteering, and advocating.
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The overarching goal of National Parents Organization (NPO) is to promote shared parenting by educating parents, divorce professionals, and legislators and by reforming family courts and laws in every state. NPO focuses on advocacy and research leading to systemic reform of the family courts. The organization does not provide legal aid or advice on individual cases.