Shared Parenting News.
The posts below are a selection of the most recent shared parenting news. To view our archived blog from our old website, please visit our Blog Archive.
Why Isn’t Equal Shared Parenting Already the Norm?
Here’s a puzzle for you. As regular readers of Shared Parenting News know, National Parents Organization has commissioned high-quality, independently administered polling in many states about people’s attitudes toward shared parenting.
The results of these polls are stunning!
Co-parenting During the Holidays
Ah the Holidays. A time for joy, celebration, and… stress! It’s a challenging season for any family. Everyone talks grandly about beautiful holiday dinners, hours spent decorating together, shopping for gifts, and attending holiday parties.
But what happens if you’re a divorced or separated parent. For co-parents, the holidays serve up a full menu of stress. From the added challenges of dividing time with the children between two homes, to the pressure of creating those perfect childhood memories for your kids. So how do you get it right?
With a little intention and planning you can convert these challenges into opportunities for your family.
Unraveling the Complex Web of Parental Alienation and Abuse
Parental Alienation (PA) is a contentious issue in family court proceedings, often involving accusations of abuse between parents. Opponents of the science on parental alienation and opponents of shared parenting presumptions sometimes argue that allegations of parental alienation behaviors are a strategy used by abusers to wrest custody from protective parents.
New Florida Law Puts National Focus on Unwed Dads
By Laurie A. Couture
A July 2023 law change in Florida has brought national attention to the state of rights for unmarried fathers in the United States. The bill, which was known as “The Good Dad Act”, passed “unanimously” in the Florida House and Senate, according to an ABC News report. The law recognizes the natural right of an unmarried birth father to have an equal say in parenting his child and establishes legal protection for unmarried fathers—who previously could be cut out of their child’s lives—to be recognized when they acknowledge paternity.
Supporting a Child's Hobbies and Talents After Divorce: Effective Co-Parenting Strategies
Divorce can be a challenging and emotionally charged experience for both parents and children. Amidst the upheaval, it's crucial not to let the pursuit of a child's passions and talents fall by the wayside. We’re talking sports, music, art, or clubs focused on more cerebral pursuits. Continued participation in such activities can provide your child with continuity they need in an otherwise changing world. It can also give them something positive to focus on and put their energy toward.
Linda Reutzel: NPO’s Champion for Children
National Parents Organization has awarded its first “Champion for Children” award to Linda Reutzel, the Missouri Chair of NPO and a long-time member of NPO’s National Board.
Linda is a mother and grandmother from Cape Girardeau, Missouri, who became aware of the harmful effects of Missouri’s custody laws and family court practices when her son, Griffan, divorced and was sidelined in his daughter Averie’s life, being awarded only a Missouri’s “Schedule J” parenting time. While Schedule J, which is the old “every other weekend and one evening a week” schedule, is claimed to be a “minimum, regular schedule of visitation and custody”, it often treated as a default even when both parents are fit and loving parents.
Celebrating Your Child’s Birthday After Divorce
You’ve split from your child’s other parent. So what do you do when it comes to celebrating your child’s birthday? Just because you two aren’t together doesn’t mean your child stops having birthdays or that you no longer dream of giving your child wonderful birthday memories.
Do you want to give him a party or buy her a nice gift which would be easier if you both paid for it? Maybe you’re super busy with work and could use some help having a party with 20 rambunctious young boys or a slumber party for your tween girl and her 15 giggling friends. Do you usually celebrate birthdays with extended family? How do you pull that off now?
Congratulations Missouri!
It took nine long years! Nine years of persistent effort from shared parenting advocates, led by National Parents Organization’s Linda Reutzel. But, this past July, Missouri joined the select club of states that establish a presumption of equal shared parenting when parents live apart.
Ohio Courts Continue to Make Progress But Much Too Slowly
In 2018 and then again in 2020, National Parents Organization undertook a review of the local parenting time rules adopted by each of Ohio’s 88 county domestic relations courts and published the results of those reviews, grading the county courts on the degree to which their rules promote equal shared parenting. NPO has just completed the 2023 NPO Ohio Parenting Time Rules Report, which updates these earlier reports. These reports show significant changes in court parenting time schedules.
There is good news and bad news to report.
Co-parenting School-aged Children
As we approach a new school year, parents begin to turn their attention to back-to-school thoughts. What school supplies will your children need? What clothes will they want? When will the house be quiet again during the late morning and early afternoon hours?
My son’s father and I separated in July right before our son started kindergarten. Many studies have shown that children of divorce often earn lower grades than their peers whose parents are still together. And beyond the divorce itself, this can impact your children in the long term as well. Just think about how important grade point average is to a high school student when it comes to getting into the college of their choice. One bad grade and the damage is done. I wasn’t about to saddle our son with the burden of our choices right as his academic career started. And you don’t have to either. Don’t let your child become an academic statistic.
A New Attack on Shared Parenting
Opponents of presumptions of equal shared parenting have attacked it from many directions. NPO, sometimes working together with the International Council on Shared Parenting, created a series of handouts to respond to the fallacious attacks on shared parenting. Recently, opponents of shared parenting have adopted a new strategy. It’s fallacious. (It’s what logicians call an ad misericordiam fallacy—an argument that attempts to persuade by appealing to feelings of sympathy.) But it’s likely to be effective on people who don’t know the relevant facts.
Legislators Support for Equal Shared Parenting Laws
Since Kentucky passed the country’s first explicit equal shared parenting presumption in 2017, one thing has become very clear about shared parenting bills: they enjoy strong bi-partisan legislative support!
Kentucky’s 2017 law, which passed as a result of the efforts of Matt Hale and his NPO-Kentucky team, created a presumption of equal shared parenting for temporary orders, during the pendency of the trial. This bill passed both chambers of the Bluegrass state’s legislatures with no negative votes. In 2018, the Kentucky legislature passed a similar presumption for final orders. This passed the Senate unanimously and the House by a vote of 81 to 2.
Florida Joins the Equal Shared Parenting Club
Florida just enacted a law that creates a rebuttable presumption of equal shared parenting when parents divorce. It is the fourth U.S. State with an explicit presumption that children will continue to have the equal involvement of both of their parents when the parents divorce unless there is evidence that this is not in their best interest.
Kentucky, as the result of the work of NPO’s Matt Hale, was the first state to enact explicit presumptions of equal shared parenting—in 2017 for temporary orders and in 2018 for final orders. In 2021, Arkansas joined the equal shared parenting club. And in 2021, West Virginia joined.
Family Vacation Planning Tips for Co-parents, Stepparents, and Blended Families
Family vacations play a key role in building strong family bonds. Vacations give family members an opportunity to relax, reconnect, and set aside distractions so they can enjoy being together. Whether it’s camping, going to the beach, visiting an amusement park, or dedicating a week to a staycation where you all just spend great quality time together, children look to family vacations as a time when the parents are free of work distractions and more focused on them.
While teenagers may complain about being away from friends, scowl at activities they don’t think they’ll enjoy, and bury themselves in their phones, don’t be fooled by their aloof demeanor. These are the times they will remember for the rest of their lives. And that’s to say they will remember them when they happen and when they didn’t happen.
6th Annual ICSP Conference A Success
Early this month, I had the privilege of attending in Athens, Greece, the 6th Conference of the International Council on Shared Parenting (ICSP) organized around the theme of New Paradigms: Research and Practice on Shared Parenting. NPO has been a strong supporter of ICSP and an active participant in its programs since ICSP was created about a decade ago, including taking the lead on organizing the 2017 NPO/ICSP conference in Boston, the videos of which are available here.
4 Strategies to Combat Parental Alienation
While collaborative co-parenting is on the rise, there are still too many parents who fall victim to parental alienation by their co-parent. Parents who are too hurt, too angry, or just too narcissistic to consider the wellbeing of their child over their own emotions go to great lengths to deprive both their child and their co-parent of the opportunity to build and maintain a meaningful parent-child relationship.
How to be a Fully Present Co-parent
Are you a victim of parental alienation or constantly fighting with a co-parent to comply with your parenting agreement? Conflicts in co-parenting can be difficult to resolve. Especially if you feel like you are the only one trying to be cooperative. Yet are you certain you are doing everything possible to improve your circumstances and your parenting experience?
Last month, I introduced four strategies that will help you to minimize parental alienation.
North Carolina Lawmakers Introduce Comprehensive Shared Parenting Bills
With bipartisan support and sponsorship, North Carolina lawmakers in both the House and Senate have introduced bills to support shared parenting. These drafts, which were filed in April 2023, are the most comprehensive shared parenting bills to date in North Carolina. The introduction of these bills prove that lawmakers recognize that children of separated and divorced families deserve equal time with both of their parents.
Ashley-Nicole Russell, an author, attorney, and member of the National Board of Directors for National Parents Organization, is a major proponent and supporter for Senate Bill 576 and House Bill 735, both entitled “An Act Establishing a Presumption of Joint Custody and Shared Parenting.” She worked as part of the advisory and advocacy work to get these proposed bills to lawmakers who are passionate about this issue.
How the Foundation of Collaborative Law Supports Shared Parenting
Written by: Ashley-Nicole Russell, Esq. of AN|R Law: A Negotiated Resolution and NPO Board Member
Throughout our lives we make countless choices. Those choices impact almost everything that follows including our happiness, wellness, health, mindset, and so much more. For couples with children who explore separation or divorce, many don’t realize they have choices when it comes to how they divorce. It’s important that they consider how each separation or divorce process could affect their family. While most are likely familiar with traditional divorce through litigation, there is another type of divorce that is helping families divorce healthy around the world. Collaborative Practice is an alternative dispute resolution that takes place out of the court system. This process and the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals were recently nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for the work done helping families during divorce and separation.
4 Strategies to Combat Parental Alienation (Part 1 of 2)
As a co-parenting coach, I have some parents, particularly fathers, reach out to me for help because they feel they are being alienated from their children. There’s a lot of debate among family professionals over the term “parental alienation”. But as someone who has heard countless tales of moms (and some dads) who go to great lengths to build a wedge, if not a wall, between a child and their other parent, I can say for certain that whatever you want to call it, many divorced parents, mostly dads, are being deprived of having a relationship with their children because of the actions of the other parent.